


Fingerprints

by triggermoreliketiger



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Angst, Fate & Destiny, M/M, Soulmate AU, i guess, it gets better though, read warning goddamnit, so pretty please read warnings, this is pretty damn angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-19 21:00:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14881119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triggermoreliketiger/pseuds/triggermoreliketiger
Summary: This is the story in which fate is wrong.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> tw: rape, non-con, drugs, abusive relationship

_~~~_

_This is the story of two men who were fooled by the fate. The story of two people who were marked with pain by destiny. The story of two souls whose bodies were tattooed with a Cain fingerprints- vivid and radiant, reminding of the loss of the feeling they’ve never experienced._

_~~~_

 

Roman was in love with idea of having a soulmate. Ever since he was little he spent hours on searching how people described the moment their soulmates touched them. Apparently it felt like thousands of fireworks exploded in their stomach, some even sworn their vision went blurry under the waves of emotions. Roman was sure that his soulmate and him would have even more special bond. That the experience would be even more ground-shaking for them. He just knew it. He already loved that person with all his heart and soul. How come his significant other didn’t feel the same way? They were meant to be after all.

 

The only problem was that time was passing and his soulmate was nowhere to be found. Roman was the popular guy. He had friends, even a few partners during his life. But all of them seemed to fade away as they united with their soulmates, and Roman? Roman was alone. Every time he met someone new, he couldn’t help the bubbling excitement in his stomach. The first touch with a stranger? His heart was beating so fast that he thought it may explode. But it never did.

 

 _“There will be another person. Another chance… Eventually, I will find them.”_ Roman thought bitterly, refusing tears to stop flowing during long, lonely nights. Because he knew, he believed that one day when that person, his soulmate, would appear everything would start making sense again. Or maybe for the first time?

 

Roman had dreams. Dreams filled with pure happiness. Sleepy visions of final reunion with that person. The powerful images of meeting the soul that matched his own. But every time he woke up, he couldn’t remember the face, as if it was covered with dark veil. Too many pictures were flooding him one after another and he couldn’t catch a glimpse of memory of his beloved one..

 

And he also had other dreams, darker, much more sinister. Nightmares one could say, but not Roman. These dreams also revolved around his soulmate but they were always breaking his heart, one way or another. He was waking up from the covered with sweat and desperately drawing the air into his lungs. _It was only a bad dream._

 

~.~

 

Why and how did Roman end up in that club on that Saturday night? Under other circumstances he would happily declare that it was fate that finally decided to seal them together. But fate couldn’t be so cruel, could it?

 

He wasn't drunk, still self-conscious, only a little bit buzzed. So maybe he let the music flow through his body in the way that let the tunes took over him… So what? It wasn’t his fault. So maybe he was a little bit careless... So what? He wasn’t guilty.

 

An optimist, dreamer, fun to be around, maybe only a little bit disorganized and artistically chaotic. That was Roman. That was true, he could be… unfocused. And apparently it was finally his time to pay for that. Distracted with the crowd, with music and his own emotions, he must had not paid attention to what he drank that night. That was the only logical explanation, though he had never confronted _Him_ about the truth. But Roman knew that it wasn’t his own fault. He knew that it wasn’t his fault and yet he blamed himself.

 

Fate played him like a fiddle.

 

Dancing carelessly, he felt that something was different, the atmosphere and the air. Back then he called it the heat of bursting with music night. Now, he called it peeking danger. That’s all he could remember clearly. The rest printed into his memory in the sequence of pictures.

The rhythm of a song which was playing when someone’s fingers slided under Roman’s thin shirt and gripped his hips.

The pain when hands rested on his both sides. For some reason it burned him but, dizzed with the drug, Roman ignored the feeling and spinned around to face the intruder.

The beamed lights in the club making it so hard for Roman to see the man.

His own fingers landing on _His_ collarbones.

 

Roman was good in that game, nothing suggested him that this time could be different. He could barely see _His_ face but from what he could assume from the colorful lights and game of shadows, the man in front of him was pretty handsome. Maybe it was just the drug that told him so but Roman decided to give it a shot. He smiled a little bit.

 

The man leaned down to Roman’s ear.

 

“I have a feeling you want to go with me.”

 

The whisper of the death.

 

Many months later Roman asked himself why he didn't say no. He wanted to believe that he wasn't able but he couldn’t be certain of that for sure. He remembered the ride to _His_ house, filled with hazy, chaotic gigging and sensual touches. The house itself was nice, small and neat, but somehow all Roman remembered was being pinned to the wall at the porch, hungry kisses on his neck, aggressive grip on his hips, heaviness between his legs. Was it real or was it just a drug?

 

What happened during that night… Roman wished he didn’t remember everything. These memories made him feel so low. Made him think of himself so low. It wasn’t Roman back then. It couldn’t be. _His_ hands were everywhere on Roman’s body. Hungry, demanding, aggressive. But it was the grip on his hips, so painful, as if dozens of needles were being pinned into Roman’s body, that made everything so hard to forget.

 

Roman remembered waking up with all these thoughts spinning in his head. He looked at the man, who was sleeping-peacefully back-facing him. Roman didn't even know his name. He quickly picked up his clothes, thrown around the room, covered with stains Roman wasn’t sure where came from. He wanted to go to the bathroom, clean himself and forget about that night forever. But he never was given that privilege.

 

He remembered his own face. Grey, tired, drained, unhappy, later he had seen it many, many times more to the point when it became a norm. He remembered growling, mentally scolding himself for drinking so much, partying a little bit too hard this time. Finally, Roman also remembered getting under the shower, taking the shower gel, washing his arms. He remember all of that including the gasp, ripped sob that escaped his lips. Respectively on both side of his hips there were ten, dark, green marks, five on each hip. Each of them shaped like a fingerprints, surrounded with purplish bruises, twined with red lines running under his skin.

 

Soon after that, when his tears blended with the water coming from the shower, an aggressive, muffled train of curses reached his ears. Roman never admitted that he had heard these swears, because maybe for awhile he didn’t want to believe that it was his soulmate’s reaction. Apparently realizing that Roman was _His_ soulmate was an awful experience. But Roman was strong. And a dreamer in addition. He clenched his teeth and, like a child, gripped to the perfect image of soulmate-love that bloomed in his heart long time ago. Something he wanted, no, needed in life.

 

But fate is a cruel lady, serving people not as the deserve to be served, but according to her own caprices.

 

That morning Roman went downstairs, welcomed by the scent of blueberry pancakes and sounds of smooth New Orleans jazz. A blissful stroke of hope caressed his heart, gentle like flamingo feather. _Everything would be alright._ Hands, these hands, once again wrapped around his waist and Roman found himself spinning in the air, his neck being kissed with tenderness he hadn’t experienced before.

 

“I guess we are soulmates, pretty boy.” _He_ whispered to Roman’s ear and his heart fluttered with dozens of butterflies. A bitter-sweet kiss settled on his lips. “I’m Felix by the way. May I know your name, precious?” Felix smiled to Roman, the smile brightening his face but all Roman could stare at were small dots on his collarbones- trace of Roman’s fingers left by himself.

 

“Roman.” he said a little bit weakly, the emotions slowly taking away his breath. He didn’t know how to feel. He wanted to believe in these gestures but the memories of the previous night, mixed with first doubts, were creeping in his brain.

 

“Roman.” hummed Felix, the grip around Roman’s waist tightened “I know that we didn’t start off like we should but I’m sure that we will get along just fine. You’re the man of my dreams after all. I promise to be good to you and… oh! You know what?”

 

“What?” Roman tilted his head, stretching his face-muscles, to force on a smile. He felt bad and guilty for not being able to share that happiness, angry curses still loud in his head.

 

“We should go to the soulmate department to register today! It not like we change our minds about being each other soulmates, right?” Felix looked genuinely happy with the idea and finally a shattered peace settled in Roman’s heart. His soulmate looked like a decent guy. Just because they didn’t start in the way that soulmates usually start their relationships, didn’t mean that their fated to be unhappy, right? Just because Felix was shocked at first, did mean that he hated Roman, right?

 

He looked at Felix again. His tanned skin, freckles on his nose, dark eyes and finally, once again, the soulmark on his collarbones. A warm flame lightened Roman from inside. They were going to figure it out. After all they were soulmates. Meant to be together forever.

 

“Yes, let’s go there today.” he replied smiling gently and for the first time initiating the kiss. It tasted like salty liquorice.

 

~.~

 

Months passed and bruises on the hips didn’t fade.

 

Roman frantically tried rubbing them off with his sponge, leaving crimson lines across his skin in the place where his own fingers dug into the skin. The marks on his hips never disappeared no matter how many times he washed them, his skin was growing more and more red but the fingerprints were just as dark as ever. He raised his hand muffling the sob coming from his mouth. It was late at night and he didn’t want Felix, _his happiness_ , to wake up again. Not again, Roman really didn’t have enough strength to handle yet another session without crying.

 

Quietly, letting the water tug his body, trying to warm his cold limbs, Roman curled in the corner of the shower. His little, private space. Showers were his ritual. He could spend some time alone, without being judged, without being traced with impatient eyes, that he loved so much.

 

Felix could be charming when he wanted. All of _His_ friends agreed that Roman and Felix were a perfect couple. Soft kisses at the top of the head, arm protectively wrapped around Roman’s waist, delicate strokes of his thick hair. Yes, Felix could be full of compassion, passion, love and understanding. He had never hit Roman, or at least not in the way that could be proven. His punches never left physical marks, scratching and ripping his soul apart instead. Roman knew that no one would believe him. Everybody loved Felix and law was protecting soulmates, even from each other. Roman knew that, because he checked it once. Only once because the fear that Felix would find out was so big, that he never dared to try again.

 

Over past months Roman had lost contact with most of his friends. His time was filled mostly with Felix. Roman even left his job, under the suggestion that he would be much more useful taking care of the household. It was an offer that Roman couldn’t say no to. He, soon, started feeling trapped in this house, in the arms of his soulmate, in the life he was living.

 

Today was yet another night when Felix arrived home tired and angry after a long day. And when he was tired he was especially demanding, _especially over-protective_ , on days like theis he only took, never gave. Roman knew what would the next morning look like. Felix would wake up to pepper him with sugary sweet kisses, until he would roll on the top of him, saying that now it’s his time to please Roman. Only that Roman himself, wanted nothing else but a minute or two of peace and quiet, when his heart didn’t beat in the pace of hummingbird, when the fear didn’t smash his heart.

 

Once Roman asked Felix if he couldn’t give him more space.

 

“Don’t you love me anymore?”

 

“Sorry, princess but we’re soulmates you’re stuck with me whenever you want it or not!’

 

“Oh, I’m sorry for being protective over you, my little one!”

 

“Or maybe I’m not enough for you, am I? You’ve changed!”

 

Roman never asked again.

 

Cold fear washed him again. He was sitting under the shower for too long. Turning off the water, Roman winced upon hearing a grumpy sigh behind the door.

 

“ _There’s nothing to be afraid of. Felix’s my soulmate after all…”_

 

_~.~_

 

Roman left house exactly two years after Felix and him registered themselves as soulmates in the department. Two years since Roman signed himself up for the suffering. He had been living in a cage for two, long years. Two years too long. He was done, he would rather die than stay. Lost thoughts were trembling in his head.

 

_Was he ungrateful? Felix gave him a lot after all…_

 

_He still loved Felix and Felix loved him… Maybe he would change?_

 

_Maybe that night was the last one?_

 

_Are those for sure soulmarks? Not just simple bruises? Felix tend to get aggressive in the bed after all…_

 

Roman was walking without a purpose, his credit cards were in his bag, even though he knew he couldn’t use it- Felix, being his soulmate could easily get access to his cards and phone. And track him. Track Roman again and bring him home. Law was covering Felix whatever the motives and Roman’s will.

 

Knowing that Roman left his phone under the pillow with one message:

 

_“I loved you and believed in you. Do me a favour and don’t look for me.”_

 

That was all he had to say to Felix.

 

The rain was slowly starting to fall when Roman walked into the forest. Basing on the colour of the sky, it would start to get dark soon, meaning that Felix had most probably already arrived home and found Roman’s note. Cold shiver ran down his spine. Maybe he could still turn back and run home, apologize to Felix in the best way he could and everything would go back to normal…?

 

Roman shook his head. No. He had made his decision and nothing could change it. Not even the perspective of freezing to death in the wild. He couldn’t go anywhere else. He had to keep distance from the civilization from now on. Roman barely had any friend on his own, his parents were miles away and weren’t really interested in their son, he couldn’t rent a room in the hotel either since he would have to use his credit card... So he kept walking near the line on the forest, from time to time peeking at the tangled, green jungle, before he finally decided to walk further into that maze.

 

Following the small path he was pondering how his life would look like from now on.  People like him didn’t exist in the eyes of society. Those who left their soulmates... he had never even heard of any of them. Sure they existed but they were quickly swept under the carpet.

 

He was alone. More than ever and without a chance to be rescued. The only person who, according to the world, could understand him properly was left behind Roman and he hoped to never see _Him_ again.

 

Tearing his gaze off the forest Roman looked at the road spreading ahead of him. There, where the path was splitting, on the edge of the cliff, in the middle of nowhere, stood a man wearing all black, with his head raised up, staring at the sky.

 

Roman sped up his pace. Maybe he wasn’t alone after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: death mention, suicide mention, abusive relationship mention

Virgil never wanted a soulmate. Or at least that’s what he wanted to believe in. He thought that maybe indeed, few decades ago it was a romantic concept to have one destined person but now it was nothing more than a money-making business which in addition allowed the government to control people. In many aspects Virgil wished that he and his soulmate had never met each other. He would rather be alone than be forced to share all his secrets with a stranger just because they had his fingerprints tattooed on their body.

However when Chelsea grabbed his elbow he felt a fire that he had never felt before. He could feel her fingerprints sewing into his skin in the form of dark, navy tattoo, that would stay with him forever. And it didn’t terrify him. He looked up and saw the same on her. She was shocked, examining the place where Virgil’s fingers touched her for the first time. His fingerprints were already printed into her skin. The purple small stains formed without their knowledge or agreement. The girl smiled at Virgil awkwardly, he smiled back just same nervous. Her short, ginger hair was ruffled by the wind, her face was glowing but her eyes were hiding the shadows that Virgil was determined to uncover. And at that particular moment he really believed that the fate made no mistakes.

 

But life is a crazy fellow, full of surprises.

 

And when Virgil was standing in front of a tombstone, a mere week later, he firmly bid his goodbye to the idea of supporting whole soulmate-business. After of all, the person that was meant for him was buried few feet underground. And not only that. Because clearly she had taken her life on purpose, she chose to leave him alone. Despite knowing that it’s not his fault, that was still something Virgil couldn’t stand, something that made his heart whine loudly in the silence of the night. He had plans after all. Just a day before her death they were planning to go to the local department to register themselves as soulmates and by doing that- starting  life together. Did she know back then, that these were nothing more than empty promises? With her life she had taken away all the hope and plans Virgil had buried down in his heart. The only person who could stand him, that emo loner, was gone. Soulmates sucked. One person who was his chance for happiness, destroyed his life. He would rather never meet her, than lose her so quickly. Checkmate from the fate, ruthless opponent. At this point Virgil was only 25, meaning that he had at least 50 years ahead of himself filled with nothing but loneliness and marked with 5 dark tattoos in the shape of someone’s fingertips above his elbow.

 

The touch of death on his skin.

 

All these thoughts were slowly rolling through his head as he was standing on the edge of the cliff, letting the rain splash his face, watching the forest underneath him. If he jumped, he would die instantly and no one would notice, at least until his parents or brother would try to call him from the opposite side of the globe.

Virgil closed his eyes, eyelids heavy with the rain and deeply breathed in the evening air. He knew that he should go back home soon but he didn’t feel like spending another night all alone again. The trees, the nature around him lived, making him feel a little bit less lonely. He knew this forest like his own pocket. It was his friend. Perks of living on the suburbs and being anti-social. Ever since he was a child, he used to explore the mysteries of these trees and shallow caves, first with his father, later on- by himself. The sound of the rain falling at the leaves and wet ground was putting him at ease more than anything. He could breathe here.

Suddenly and unexpectedly, his ears caught a new sound. Virgil opened his eyes and swept his wet bangs to the side before looking over his shoulder.

A single man, wearing too big, green jacket was walking in his direction. Virgil turned his face back to the view in front of him. Maybe the man would just pass him, without initiating the conversation…? It was getting pretty late though... Virgil had already noticed that big bag the man was carrying. Did he intend to camp here? It wasn’t a good season to camp. Sighing Virgil turned around to see that the man had moved significantly closer. A shadow of fear fell at his heart. What if this man was a serial killer or even worse- an extrovert freak who sold pots, knives and other kitchen-shit?

The man looked at Virgil but quickly turned his gaze away and stood in the middle of the road, looking to the right and left hopelessly. He didn’t look like a camper or hiker. Virgil with interest watched his actions, until after few minutes of inner discussion with himself the male started walking to the right.

“Wait.” Virgil said not thinking much. The man stopped immediately. His hair was getting curly with the rain, making him look like an angel drowning in the tears of the world or a wet chicken. Both equally adorable.

“What? If you want to kill me just go ahead, you don’t have to warn me.” He replied, blinking slowly as if he was trying to comprehend the situation he had gotten himself into. Virgil wanted to shrug it off but the tone of this guy’s voice, the hollow look in his eyes, there was something familiar about that. Loneliness and having nothing to lose.

“Nothing awaits you if you go to the right.” said Virgil finally and the man laughed sadly.

“Nothing awaits me wherever I go.” He said quietly but hadn’t moved from his spot.

“I know a place where you can be served a hot chocolate and no questions if that’s what you’re looking for.” Virgil straightened up his back, surprised with his own courage. The man’s golden eyes brightened up with interested for a split of second. “I’m Virgil.” Virgil added after a moment and reached out his hand.

The man stared at him for a while, trying to process the proposition, weighting pros and cons of the offer. Finally he shrugged in the way that clearly meant that at this point he didn’t care anymore. His hand brushed against Virgil’s before he took it back quickly.

“I’m Roman.”

Virgil nodded and not waiting for the other man, started walking down the road. Something in his guts, was telling him that Roman would follow without a word. He didn’t look back. Indeed few seconds later someone started splashing puddles on the road behind him. Virgil smiled. This man really didn’t know much about the forest.

They kept the slow pace, until the rain started to pour more heavily and Virgil stopped to take an umbrella out of his backpack. It was the first time he turned around to Roman. His face was wet, and if Virgil didn’t notice his red eyes, he would have said that it’s just the rain.

“Come here, I don’t want you to get cold.” Virgil said putting the umbrella above Roman’s head. The other man silently moved closer, careful not to touch Virgil.

As they were slowly approaching the asphalt road, Virgil noticed that Roman grew a little bit more restless. His eyes were scanning the landscape but not in admiration but in fear. As if he was looking for something, something that could make him run away.

“Say, Virgil…” started Roman quietly, trying to hide the shaking of his voice. “Do you by any chance know Felix? Does he know where I am?” his breath was hitched and Virgil could hear that even despite the noise of the rain.

“Felix? Never heard of him, sorry.” he said honestly, cautiously not asking who Felix was. He promised no questions.

Roman nodded and Virgil once again pondered on the rules this man followed in his life. Apparently Virgil’s words were enough of evidence that he indeed didn’t know Felix.

“We should be home soon.” hummed Virgil. Roman sneezed in reply.

 

\---

 

Just like Virgil ensured they arrived at his little house on the edge of the forest, after less than half an hour. The owner frowned upon spotting that few flowers growing by the fence had been broken by the wind. When Virgil finally opened the door in front of Roman, both of them were completely soaked.

Roman stood awkwardly in the middle of small hallway, letting the water drop on the wooden floor. He was just as lost as before.

“Give me your jacket.” asked Virgil and, after taking it from Roman, waved his hand at the door presumably leading to the rest of the house “Make yourself at home. The light’s switch is on the left.” added Virgil before disappearing in the bathroom.

Biting his lips, unsure of what to expect, Roman walked into the living room, turning the light on. The room wasn’t big, connected with the cooking space on the right and with spiral stairs leading upstairs on the left. Too afraid of staining the couch with his sodden with rain jeans, Roman quietly sat on the chair standing next to the kitchen contour.

When Virgil came back few minutes later, he saw Roman staring at his own nails as if they were the most frightening thing on the world. Trying not to scare Roman off, Virgil knocked the door frame, marking his presence. Their eyes met for a moment before they both respectively turn their gazes away.

“Hey, you can use the bathroom now. I assumed that most of your clothes are wet, so I left you some sweater and sweatpants… feel free to wear them and clean yourself. You look like you’ve survived a typhoon.” Virgil clicked his tongue before passing Roman and standing behind the contour, back-facing him.

That’s when Roman with a pinch of sadness and maybe jealousy spotted five characteristic marks above Virgil’s elbow. His soulmate’s fingerprints. Standing up and almost by a reflex rubbing his hip, Roman smiled to himself. Arms, huh? That was one of the places where people usually had their soulmate tattoos.

He firmly shook his head.

“ _No, I won’t think about it now. I’m done with this.”_ Roman thought entering the bathroom.

Neatly folded clothes lied on the edge of the bathtub while the bag which Roman brought was under the sink. Out of curiosity, more than fear or anxiety, he checked if his wallet was still there. He hummed when he saw that nothing was missing. Roman took a quick shower cautiously avoiding the dark spots on both sides of his hips. He pulled on the sweater and sweatpants. It smelt nice, like fresh pines. Something about this scent was really relaxing even though he could barely remember the last time he spent so much time in the forest.

Roman sighed, ruffling his wet, dark blonde hair. He still had no idea what to do with himself or his life but it seemed that, at least until the rain stopped, he had a place to hide. Maybe he would figure out what to do next over a cup of tea? His brows furrowed. That was unless Felix finds him before Roman would flee away. He shivered and walked out of the bathroom, tempted with the sweet scent of chocolate that was reaching his nostrils from the kitchen. He was about to enter the living room when suddenly a small blackboard hanging next to the door piqued his interest.

“ _Welcome to the VERGE of the world :)”_

Roman smiled at the obvious pun. He had a feeling that Virgil wasn’t the one who wrote that. Probably his soulmate. After all opposites attract, right?

 

In the meantime Virgil had moved from the kitchen space on the couch. Two mugs with steamy hot chocolate were standing in front of him and fireplace was already lightening up the space, filling the place with pleasant warmth. Roman thought that Virgil hadn’t noticed him until the latter patted the place on the couch next to him, handing the mug as soon as Roman sat down.

They were sitting for a while in a complete silence, listening to the rain and watching the fire. Finally, Roman gathered all his courage to ask the question that was trembling in his mind for some time now:

“Are you sure your soulmate won’t mind me being here?” as soon as he finished the sentence he took a loud sip of his chocolate, trying to hide himself behind that dotted, green mug. He glanced at Virgil to see only a blank expression on his face as he still stared at the fire.

“I’m sure my soulmate _wouldn't_ mind.” Virgil said finally. He rested his elbows on the knees, letting the warm light of the fireplace brighten up his face. The shadows were dancing across his face and Roman had no idea if the darkness in Virgil’s eyes was real or was it just an illusion.

“That’s a weird choice of words.” Roman said before his head managed to filtrate what he’s saying.

Virgil smiled slightly.

“Well, that’s how you word it when your soulmate is dead.” he said.

Roman flushed red. Of course, he had to mess up the first attempt of a conversation. It had been a while since he was having a normal talk with another human without Felix somewhere around.

“Sorry, I didn’t know.” mumbled Roman.

“I don’t have ‘ _my soulmate is dead’_ tattooed on my forehead so no worries.” chuckled Virgil before turning his face to Roman “Seriously, dude. I knew her for only like a week or so. I’m over this. No need for special discretion or whatever.” he waved his hand off as if he was speaking about forgetting to buy eggs, not the death of his soulmate. “How about yours?” asked Virgil after few minutes of silence, watching Roman behind half-closed eyelids.

“How about mine what?” Roman echoed, tilting his head cluelessly.

“How about your soulmate? Won’t they be worried?”

Roman laughed, the sound as empty as the look in his eyes, something that scared Virgil more than he thought it would.

“Felix? Oh, I don’t think that ‘worried’ is the right word to describe his emotions right now. But then, we may never find out about that.” Roman hummed happily the end of the sentence.

Virgil wasn’t sure if it was good choice to ask that question. Not only he promised to restrain from asking about anything but also...This man, Roman, was acting really strange. His eyes looked almost dead yet his voice appeared to be honestly cheerful as if the vision of being away from his soulmate was filling him with joy. Roman smiled at Virgil, noticing confusion in his eyes.

“He abused me.”

Three simple words and suddenly all the pieces of the puzzles fell into right places. Virgil gasped quietly. He didn’t know Roman for long but he seemed to be a good man. Not someone who deserved to suffer by the hand of his beloved one.

“I’m not good at this man, but if you wanna talk about this… I’m all ears.” summed Virgil finally. He didn’t want to seem too pushy facing a situation like this.

“Ha! There’s not much to talk about!” chirped Roman “After two years of… This realtionship, I decided to run away. Stupid decision to be honest but I just couldn’t do it anymore, you know?” Words were spilling out of his mouth like an avalanche “And look at me now! Not even few hours passed and I was surprised with the rain! Turned out I forgot to take my umbrella! And I got lost too! Map? Never heard of her!” he was almost shouting at this point, his voice trembling and rancorous. Virgil very carefully wrapped his arm around Roman’s shoulder bringing him closer. Roman laughed nervously but yielded to the feeling. “I have nowhere to go!” he continued “I can’t use my credit cards! My phone! Even my passport! As long as I have these prints on my body, I can be easily identified and tracked down and...and…” he was drawing the air as if he was drowning while Virgil slowly rubbed small circles at his back.

“There, there…” Virgil cooed patiently “Everything’s going to be alright.” He whispered thinking intensively. He couldn’t let Roman go away now. Virgil knew that registering with a soulmate in the department, meant almost zero privacy. With surprise he realized how brave Roman was. Standing up against the devil in his lover’s skin, the whole world and it’s messed up etiquette… Roman needed a rest, he needed to regain the peace of his mind.

Virgil put a fluffy blanket around Roman’s arms in order to make him feel more warm and safe. Seeing that it brought only a little bit of help, Virgil tentatively took Roman’s pale and cold hand into his own before placing it on the level of his heart.

“Focus on my heart-beat and breathe. Close your eyes. Yes, good. Very good. Think of my voice. You’re doing amazing.” Roman listened to Virgil’s quiet and relaxing voice. For once the control someone had over him didn’t seem frightening.

They followed Virgil’s calm and stable breathing pattern until Roman was able to straightened up and breathe in regular manner on his own again. Only then Virgil said:

“Look, I’ve been living here alone for years now. I don’t have soulmate, she’s dead. I have nothing to live for. So if I can help you in any way… please feel free to stay here with me. You need time, Roman. Don’t worry about money, forget about the world. It sucks. Believe me, this situation can be good for both of us.” He laughed bitterly “Actually, if I think about it, I’m being a little bit selfish. But, I guess I just…” Virgil stopped abruptly, weighing the words in his heart. He knew how he felt but saying it out loud, suddenly felt too hard.

“You just…?” encouraged Roman quietly.

“I…” Virgil’s head dropped down as he tried to put his feeling into word. Roman’s fingers delicately brushed the hair that was resting on Virgil’s ear, causing the other man to shiver. The crackling fire, once again, took the responsibility of filling up the silence in the room.

“You just don’t want to be alone, do you?” asked Roman finally, taking the burden of Virgil’s arms. They were sitting so close to each other that their arms were brushing and, as Virgil heard the question, he took Roman’s hand into his own once again, tangling their fingers together. It was an innocent gesture but the small squeeze shot a scoop of energy and hope, feelings long forgotten, down his spine.

Virgil nodded quietly.

“I just don’t want to be alone.” he looked at Roman, with his eyes dark with sorrow, pain and years of loneliness. The time that was spent alone in that small house with all its problems on his shoulders. He was on the verge of the world. His own world.

“I don’t want to be alone either.” whispered Roman quietly, before resting his head on Virgil’s shoulder.

And they didn’t even realize when, feeling so safe and secure, they fell asleep, taking by the handful everything the presence of other human could give.

Time was all they had.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: drug mention, death mention

Living slow life, for most of the time, they pretended that the rest of the universe didn’t exist. Two porcelain dolls dancing in the snow ball called the calm at the end of the non-existing world.

Both of them were anxious if this odd deal would work out. And admittedly, first few weeks had been weird, unusual and nervous, spent mostly on figuring out how to exist with other person.

For Virgil who had been going through his life alone for years, meeting Roman and inviting him into his personal bubble, marked a start of a whole new chapter. Sharing a house, daily chores, joy and sadness with someone… Virgil was still learning, step by step and day by day. To understand better, to try harder, to make more effort.

He started experiencing unexpected moments that were filling his heart with joy. Tiny treats that he didn’t know he craved in life. All of them were simple activities: Roman turning on the light when it was getting dark outside or the fact that woken up by a nightmare Virgil knew that he wasn’t alone in this small house that used to be too big for him. Irrelevant details like that… They mattered to Virgil. At first this quite unique feeling in his heart felt strange but he quickly got used to it, and soon grew thankful for the gift which was another person beside him.

Roman, from the other hand, took his time to re-learn how to breathe with his full chest again. At the beginning it felt as though his lungs were covered with a thick layer of old copper, shrinking every time his heart let out a beat in a tone different than fear. But peace, quiet and space that he was granted, worked on him like a soothing balm. Roman knew that when he first arrived to this house, he was a wreck of a human. He doubted that he would ever go back to the person he used to be. Some scars and marks cannot be washed off. But there were things that could help them heal. Simple images, basic desires, new routines. And they didn’t frighten Roman. For him, staying in one place, was moving forward.

Just like Virgil, Roman had his little guilty pleasures. Like waking up every morning to the sound of Virgil quietly making himself a breakfast in the kitchen, instead of painful nagging in the ribs. That was a nice change. Or going outside to the garden and not being afraid of curious eyes watching his every move. That was a nice change too. Or not living in fear. Changes that showed him how wrecked his previous life was.

 

They didn’t talk much. In fact, most of the time spent together was filled with silence. Though rare, the conversations, that at the beginning were short, grew longer and deeper with time. If the weather was nice, they sat outside the house. Usually Virgil took care of his little garden while Roman rested on the bench, enjoying the gentle touch of sun on his skin.

“There is something calming in watching you water your flowers and checking if there are no insects who dared to attack your carrots.” said Roman once, words slipping off his tongue before he managed to catch them and lock inside. He wasn’t afraid to speak anymore.

Virgil laughed. A thing, that now, he was doing much more often than before.

“It looks pathetic, doesn’t?” he asked finally, biting his lips.

“No? Not at all!” protested Roman firmly “It relaxes me. You work with such a passion. And show so much care to these plants!”

“Well…” Virgil sat on the bench next to Roman. He looked at his fingers covered with dirt “When Chelsea died, I had to look for a way to sort things in my head. Even though we knew each other for so short, it was as if the part of me left with her. I was pretty much empty and dead inside. It was painful seeing the earth was still spinning around when I had massive existential crisis. But it made me realize that I have to move on and start living again. And what a better way to learn to live again, than by helping the world around you grow?” Virgil asked rhetorically and got up from his seat. “I will bring you some ice tea. It’s really hot here in this sun.”

Roman nodded. He didn’t say anything even though his head was filled with questions.

~.~

At least once a week they took a walk into the forest. Virgil was much more talkative there and Roman didn’t mind it at all. Every time they saw a rare plant or heard a bird, chirping in the distance, Virgil explained Roman what made it precious and unique. Listening to him rambling was almost as calming as watching him take care of his garden. Over the time spent with Felix, Roman had forgotten what was it like to have a simple life, filled with field trips and natural rhythm of life. Being around Virgil, felt as though Roman was slowly unfolding a chocolate candy- even the process of unwrapping was pleasantly exciting.

During one of the walks, Virgil decided to take Roman on the cliff where they first met. Turned out it was much further than Roman remembered it to be. The path was narrow and dripping with green leaves were surrounding them like a cocoon. Despite that, Roman didn’t fear of getting lost, he trusted Virgil. This thought hit him like a branch of old tree breaking under the weight of small woodpecker. He trusted Virgil. With his whole heart. He didn’t even trust Felix back when they lived together. But Virgil… he was different. This quiet man, wearing nothing but black, who dedicated his time to writing and taking care of garden, was the person who, without saying any significant words, had gained Roman’s trust- thing he thought he couldn’t give to anyone anymore. Roman’s lips involuntary quirked up. He managed to restore another piece of himself.

Oblivious to the seed of happiness and hope that started growing in Roman’s heart, Virgil let himself sink in the memory of one, special, stormy evening. The rain, the sounds of the nature, the burning feeling of his soulmarks around above his elbow, the cold shiver down his spine and golden, empty eyes. Ever since that day, Virgil was slowly opening his heart for Roman. He had questions, oh he had so many questions. But he didn’t form any of them even in his head. The answers could come some day or not. Maybe he would get the answer to questions that he never asked. Maybe not. He would be satisfied with both.

They only talked about Roman’s soulmate once and Virgil didn’t push. From what he was allowed to know so far, that man, Felix, had hurt Roman beyond any level of understanding. And it was more than enough to make Virgil hate him. He doubted he would ever be able to comprehend why Felix did that. Having Roman as a soulmate appeared as a dream, a blessing from the heavens. He was gentle, caring, patient, alive. Not everyone had this luck, after all.

Virgil glanced at Roman, walking right beside him. Shy, relaxed smile was decorating his face, making him look blissful. The painful emptiness in his eyes was almost gone. It seemed that during past few months, he had reestablished at least part of inner peace that was taken away from him so cruelly. Virgil tore away his gaze, not wanting to embarrass or confuse the man beside him.

He always thought that people were noisy, even their thoughts, but this rule didn’t apply to Roman at all. Being around him was peaceful activity. It was like revolving around a star. Bright, silent, beautiful, admirable. On days like today Virgil couldn’t help but wonder if it would look similar if Roman was his soulmate. He energetically shook his head. What on earth was he thinking. They both had their soulmates: Virgil’s one was dead; Roman’s one would better be off dead, but it didn’t change the facts. They weren’t soulmates, no matter how much he wanted that. Both of them were meant for someone else, not each other, even though their paths crossed. Virgil didn’t know why it happened, why Roman was pushed into his arms but he didn’t dwell upon that, selfishly enjoying the situation. It was alright. Even if they were meant to split their ways eventually, he would still be thankful for the time they shared.

“Have I ever showed you the pond?” asked Virgil suddenly, breaking the silence. His soft voice perfectly fit into the quiet heartbeat of the forest, as if it always was there, soughing in the trees, rustling in the rabbit holes.

Roman let out a short hum, afraid of destroying the atmosphere.

“No, I don’t recall anything like that.” he spoke quietly, looking at Virgil’s side profile. His pale skin and dark hair were creating an mesmerizing contrast with the vivid color of the trees around them.

“Do you want to see it? It’s not too far from where we are.” Virgil stopped, turning his face to Roman “Of course, unless you want to visit the cliff again. We can see the pond next week.”

Roman gently shook his head.

“Let’s go to the pond, I’m sure it’s beautiful.”

“Alright then, follow me.” that was the only warning that Roman received before Virgil’s slender fingers wrapped around his wrist, partly slipping under his long-sleeved shirt. Roman shivered under the touch. Something in his stomach flipped, releasing thousands of small bubbles, that spread across his body. His blood suddenly turned into something similar to soda drink and his head instantly felt lighter. He stumbled slightly, causing Virgil to grip the hand tighter. A blinding wave of emotions, flood Roman and, confused and scared, he yanked his hand out of the grip. The feeling vanished as abruptly as it appeared.

“Are you okay? We can go home, if you don’t feel well.” Virgil asked, voice filled with worry and concern.

“No, it’s fine.” Roman forced himself to look at Virgil. His dark, almost obsidian black eyes, were staring at Roman, trying to look through his soul, “A drop of dew slipped down my spine, that’s all.” he lied smoothly and not waiting for the other, walked off the path, into the maze of trees. Virgil caught up on him few seconds later.

“You don’t know which way to go.” Virgil laughed lightly but didn’t change the direction.

“I follow my guts.” Roman smiled softly, watching the peat moss under his feet. It was like walking over a pillows, feeling oddly similar to being around Virgil.

They arrived to the wild pond pretty soon and, Roman had to agree, it was indeed beautiful. He watched Virgil’s eyes brighten up when they stepped into the clearing. Single ray of sun lightened up the crystal clear water. Roman, encouraged by the aesthetics, sat on the small stone and dunked his hand into the cold liquid, breaking the tranquility of its surface. Despite the time of the year, water was frigid but Roman didn’t take his hand out. With the corner of his eye, he watched Virgil rolling up the sleeve of his shirt and reaching out to grab a perfectly smooth stone lying at the bottom, next to Roman’s hand. His fingers slipped across Roman’s skin and, though the brush lasted only a split of second, it was enough for dizziness to come back. Surprised, Roman fell off the stone.

“Are you okay?” Virgil asked, tilting his head on confusion, weighting little stone in his hand.

“Yeah…” Roman looked at his head, tugged with soaking wet fabric. Virgil skimmed the stone on the surface of water. It bounced three times, before diving in completely, splashing the water around. “I think I touched a fish or something...”

“You should roll up the sleeves of your shirt next time. I don’t know how about you but I hate the feeling of cold, wet material tugging to my skin.” Virgil nodded, moving closer and silently offering to help him get up. Roman chose to stand up by himself.

“Teach me how to skim stones.” asked Roman and leaned trying to find the proper stone.

Virgil hummed in agreement and started explaining the technique. Till the end of the day he didn’t touch Roman anymore.

 

Until the evening, when he went to take a shower, Roman didn’t notice the faint, dark stains around his wrist. At first he brushed the issue off his mind. After all, not once, not even twice, had he touched a flower or a herb that left weird marks across his skin for long days.

Only when he realized that the marks grew darker day after day, Roman finally started paying attention to their shape. Watching them getting more visible was enchanting. He couldn’t understand what was going on but he kept the information for himself. After a month Roman realized that as Virgil’s fingerprints were growing darker, the ugly bruises, as he used to call them, on his hips were fading.

The terror that came as he realized that was completely and utterly overwhelming.

~.~

Virgil was a careful and delicate man. It was never his intention to hurt Roman in any way. That’s why when one day Roman brushed Virgil’s hair behind his ear, like he did many times before, and a spark exploded in front of Virgil’s eyes, for the second time in his life, he chose to be quiet about it. When dark, crimson marks started appearing behind his ear beneath the line of his hair, he decided to keep it hidden. He knew what these meant and he was scared. He had never heard about a situation like that. After all, he already had a soulmate. Chelsea was undoubtedly his soulmate. She died but it didn’t change anything. Chelsea tattooed her fingerprints into his skin and he tattooed his fingerprints into her skin. It was until he started examining his arm, especially the soulmarks she left, he found out that her soulmate marks were much paler than he remembered them to be. Soon it was clear as a tear that as Roman’s fingerprints behind his ear were growing darker, Chelsea’s ones were slowly disappearing off his skin.

He felt like a traitor. If Chelsea lived… would that still happen? Was he cheating on her? On his own soulmate? It felt inappropriate but what Virgil couldn’t forgive himself was the fact that he was happy about the new fingerprints. It was as if all his prayers had been heard.

The only problem was Roman. And the fact that apparently the mark wasn’t mutual. Virgil waited for a sign from him, looked for clues on Roman’s slightly tanned skin, or at least these small bits that he kept revealed, but he couldn’t find anything. If it was one-sided… there was no reason to tell Roman about the tattoos hidden behind Virgil’s ear. Virgil could keep on living the life they had, he didn’t mind. If he told Roman… he would scare him off. After all he had plenty of bad experiences with Felix...

And so Virgil remained quiet about this, the only thing that changed was that he started applying concealer behind his ear and wore only long-sleeved shirts.

Chelsea’s marks were fading as Roman’s fingerprints behind the right ear were growing darker, filling Virgil’s heart with more light.

~.~

Sun was shining brightly that day. Neither of them was sure how much time had passed since Roman moved in. Neither of them was sure when the temporary hideout, became Roman’s home and his safe island. The world didn’t exist.

“Hey, Virge…” started Roman, his eyes closed, as he wasn’t sure if he wanted to look at Virgil, while speaking about this.

Wearing his usual dark attire, the man stopped working on destroyed by the mole flower patch and looked over his shoulder.

“Yes?” he murmured softly, taking off his grey, garden gloves.

“When you invited me that day, did you think I would stay for that long?” Roman asked cautiously, slowly letting his eyes open to the world. Virgil was already sitting by his side, as quiet and graceful as a black cat.

“I was… aware that you may stay longer than you intended.” admitted Virgil honestly, “You looked like someone in need of privacy. And there’s no better place to spend some time in private than in the forest. I only hoped that you weren’t stupid enough, to run away on the next day.”

Roman snorted, crossing arms on his chest.

“I’m not _that_ stupid.” he pouted.

“I don’t know... the longer you are here, the more doubt I put into that statement.” laughed Virgil, earning a light kick from Roman. His blood fizzed. It had been weeks, since Roman unknowingly tattooed his fingerprints into Virgil’s skin, and yet every time they touched, Virgil felt the same warmth in his heart.

“How did you know that Felix wouldn’t come looking for you? Or hire a detective or police?” Virgil picked up the subject after few minutes filled with nothing but the cheerful song by a lark which was sitting on the tree nearby. That was the second time Felix’s name appeared in their conversation. The air vibrated.

“Oh, he simply didn’t love me. And probably, was too scared that someone would find out about his drugs.” hummed Roman lightly as if it was the most obvious thing on the world. Virgil drawled the air abruptly.

“Did he ever-” he waved his hand clumsily, trying to find the right words.

“Drugged me?” Roman tilted his head and Virgil nodded delicately. “Don’t worry, Virge. I made peace with that period of my life. Hopefully the pain that left after some events, soon will be  completely gone.” he added absently, rubbing the sleeve around his wrist.

“If you say so…” Virgil mumbled hunching his shoulders.

“I do.” Roman assured, nodding energetically. Sometimes Virgil thought that Roman was like a rare flower. He needed special environment to grow and unfold his colorful petals but when he finally showed himself off, he would be the most beautiful flower in the garden. Virgil blushed on this poetic thought but thankfully Roman didn’t seem to notice. “As when it comes to your question… He didn’t sprinkle my pasta with cocaine.” Roman winked almost playfully.

“It’s not something you should joke about.” pointed Virgil and immediately regretted his words. The cloud hid the sun, shining above them.

“I… I know,” admitted Roman honestly “It’s just… coping mechanism, I guess...Sometimes I wonder… You know, Virge, I was stupid… It took me months to understand what and how did…” his voice was slowly growing more and more quiet, before he stopped completely “Or you know what? Nevermind! Past is past.” Roman’s voice cheered up suddenly, becoming desperate in the way that broke Virgil’s heart “Oh, look at the time, I should probably start making some dinner! How do you feel about lasagna?” he asked getting up quickly, trying to blink away the tears in his eyes.

Virgil gently grabbed him by the wrist, unconsciously sending Roman’s heart to the moon. His dark eyes were dead serious.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna talk about that?”

For a little moment Roman actually considered sitting back and telling Virgil everything. Telling him the ugly truth decorating his hips with faint, shade of green. The color that Virgil was surrounded with.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” said Roman finally, the words that came out of his mouth didn’t feel like his though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, one last chapter left to be posted! I think I will post it next Friday or earlier depending on how the editing goes!  
> For now- thank you all for reading and leaving lovely comments! They really motivate me a lot!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With one day delay, I present to you the ending of this fic.   
> Enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mentions of abusive, toxic relationship, implications of rape, mentions of sexual assult

Roman looked at himself in the mirror, scanning every inch of his body and either smiling with love or frowning in disgust. Firstly, he affectively caressed the fingerprints around his wrist. The ones that he loved more than anything else in himself, the ones that he had to hide from the person who made them, so carelessly. Then, with the unmarked hand, he scratched marks on his hips. Despite being much fainter than few years ago, they remained same radiant to Roman. Every day, every morning and evening he checked if they were still there. He impatiently was waiting for the day when he would wake up and see that they are gone. They still reminded him more of bruises than blessed soulmate marks.

Sighing, Roman slipped into his pajama, making sure that the sleeves tug his wrists tightly and once again looked at his reflection in the mirror. He felt stupid for caring so much but he couldn’t help it. He would disrespect fingerprints Virgil unknowingly gave him, if he wouldn’t try to look at least decent. His brows furrowed under his own critical gaze. His skin was fairly clear, hair, that now was dangling loosely around his slim shoulders reminded stylishly of a bird’s nest. He always wanted to grow his hair a little bit longer but never dared to try while living with Felix. Roman shook his head and gently pinched his cheeks, trying to add some natural, healthy color to his skin tone. 

It was one of these warm evenings that Roman grew to fell in love it. On evenings like this, Virgil and him usually sat outside the house and admired the garden coated with the silver shade of the moon and the dark wall of trees behind the fence. At the beginning the sight of black, irreconcilable forest in the night used to make Roman uneasy and revealed but the more time he spent in Virgil’s little house in the middle of nowhere, the better he understood how to appreciate the great mystery of nature living around them. 

Drawing the fresh scent of pine needles into his lungs, Roman walked outside the house. As expected, Virgil was already sitting on the garden sofa, the newest purchase Roman himself insisted on. Turned out it was so comfortable that it made them spend even more time outside and, though it was not Roman’s primary intention, he had to admit that he highly cherished that perk. Virgil had his legs crossed, blanket carelessly wrapped around his shoulders. His skin seemed to reflect the white light of the moon, making it shine like it was made out of thousands of diamonds. 

Roman stopped for a second to admire the view he was given. 

He wished that his life had always looked like that. But there’s no calm without a storm. He regretted what he had with Felix, he regretted every minute of that suffocating, toxic relationship, but at the same time he knew that it was this hardship that eventually made him meet Virgil. And he strongly believed that it was the best event of his life.

Stroked with a blow of wind, forest rustled around them, breaking the spell of silence. Virgil’s attentive, dark eyes travelled to Roman, sending a shiver down his spine.

“What are you waiting for? Sit down.” Virgil said. He patted the place next to him and moved a little bit to the side, leaving more space for Roman.

Encouraged with the gesture, Roman flopped on the couch, loudly breathing out the air and stretching out his limbs. He wanted to move closer, to feel Virgil’s warmth beside him but he fought off that urge. 

“What a lovely evening.” Roman whispered, looking at the stars above them. He knew that it was cliche but under all these crumbled layers of shattered psychic, broken dreams and long-forgotten hopes, there was still a romantic, that once looked for his soulmate so eagerly. His heart was aching in attempt of reaching for the man sitting next to him. The fanciful whispers were singing soft ballands in his head. Roman bit his lips, trying to stop himself from smiling. He could see it through the eyes of his loving, dreamy soul- it was a perfect night for love-sick confessions. 

“Indeed.” agreed Virgil, pulling Roman out of his fantasies. 

_ No _ ,  _ there was no perfect time for that. _ Where Virgil and him were right now, had to be enough.  _ It was enough _ . He had already tasted more happiness than he did with Felix. Roman didn’t dare to ask for more. 

They were sitting for a while saying no words, breathing and thinking with sweet feelings only. Tangled into subtle game initiated by the wind, moon disappeared behind the clouds. Its cold, but pleasant white light yield from the sky, letting stars have their moment to shine. They were winking at each other from the bare, navy patches of the sky. Each of them held stories of life and death, but had no one to tell them to. The play of thousand actors, the prophecy of million fortune tellers. Roman, with his eyes wide opened, marveled at the performance spreading above his head. He recalled reading somewhere that one could never comprehend the beauty of the firmament before watching it with their beloved one. With that thought in his heart, he glanced at Virgil. Their eyes met in a longing stare and Roman suddenly saw the galaxies that he was vainly looking for at the sky. Moon peeked behind the cloud. The world came back to its usual rhythm.

“I thought I would never find a person that would like to sit in the eternal darkness with me.” Virgil chuckled softly “Most of people I know find it creepy.”

“It’s not scary at all if the company is nice.” smiled Roman softly.

“Well, most people I know don’t find my companion nice either.” Virgil laughed.

Roman gulped, forcing the words through his throat.

“Well, how about your soulmate? Didn’t you think about sitting with her like that after you met her? I bet that she would appreciate being here with you...” he curled his legs up to his chest and rested head on the knees, tilting it so he could have a good view at Virgil. 

“Chelsea?” asked Virgil, more himself than Roman. He rarely talked about her, mentioning her name only once or twice when Roman had directly asked about that “She was… Actually, I didn’t get to meet her well. Who knows maybe we wouldn’t click.” he hummed to himself.

“But she was your soulmate!” squeaked Roman, almost offended.

“Sometimes soulmates  _ clearly  _ aren’t a good match _. _ ” Virgil answered, his voice vicious and poisonous, glancing at Roman. Some wild animal squeaked in the bushes, surprised with the aggressive response. Virgil clenched his teeth, fingers gripping on the blanket as though he wanted to tear it apart. “Sorry I shouldn’t have said that.” he apologized after a moment, shaking his head.

“No, no... It’s fine now.” smiled Roman reassuringly. “You’re right anyway, Felix and I were… Well, let’s just say that it seems that sometimes fate makes mistakes.”

“It wasn’t a mere mistake, it was a massive pile of shit that was thrown at completely innocent person!” exclaimed Virgil passionately. Roman had rarely seen him so fired up, but it took only few seconds before he regained his usual peacefulness by taking few deep breaths. Roman with curiosity watched Virgil’s chest synchronize with the sound of silence. Safe, secure and steady. “You see, Ro, it’s easy for me to say things like that because… Before meeting Chelsea I didn’t believe in soulmates. I mean, I knew that they existed of course but the whole idea... It just seemed… naive and stupid to me.” he sighed eventually.

“How about now?” asked Roman, staring at Virgil intensively. Their eyes met again, obsidian and amber, but the other man quickly turned his gaze back at the forest.

“Now, it’s different.” he whispered, voice quiet and low as if he was exposing one of the secrets of the universe.

Roman wanted to ask what was different but swallowed this question quickly. 

Cicadas were singing in the distance. The noise they made was soothing nerves of both of the men. Coming from the south wind brought a smell of grass and wild berries. Roman inhaled the scent deeply. He wished he could stop the world and live in this moment forever. He needed time to remember every detail, from the stars on the sky, through the shape of the clouds, to sound of the wind in his hair. He wanted to secure this pure feeling in his heart and never lose it. Not again. It was too precious to let it slip into the past. Virgil pulled down the sleeves of his shirt, making small, black cat-paws. Time moved on, not waiting for Roman.

“Hey, Virge?” asked Roman quietly, slightly dazed with the atmosphere of the night. 

“Mhm…?” humed Virgil absently.

Putting his feet back on the cold ground, Roman sighed heavily. He could drop the conversation here and now and he knew that Virgil wouldn’t mind. But how could he do that if everything around him was telling him to latch on to the feeling in his chest. It was warm, summer night. A midsummer’s night dream. He could hear the fairies dancing in the distance, their melodic laughter was echoing in the forest. Roman looked up in the sky. The moon was full this night. It felt as though it was sending the lost time back on the earth. Seconds, minutes, hours... If Roman caught them, could he live forever? Something cut the sky in the half and for a split of a second he thought that everything behind the firmament would spill at earth. But it didn’t. It wasn’t even a star. Just a glow-warm. Roman opened his mouth in awe and the moonlight slipped down his throat, tickling his vocal cords. He could ask now. Fairies stopped singing.

“Remember when I told you…I mean… when we talked about Felix doing drugs… Few months ago...?” he asked finally in a hushed voice, shifting uncomfortably. Virgil turned to face him and Roman bit his lips.

“I do, but we don’t have to talk about it.” he assured, putting his hand on Roman’s knee, making him shiver “Like, we don’t have to mention him ever again.”

“No, it’s not that.” Roman shook his head “I want to…” he huffed out his breath, hesitation lingering his words thickly. Virgil lightly squished his knee, trying to boost his confidence. Roman smiled weakly. He wanted Virgil to know the truth. “Umm… Have you ever seen my marks, Virge?”

Virgil shook his head. He had to admit that he had been wondering where were Roman’s tattoos for a while now. The man wasn’t the first one to reveal his body but still, Virgil thought, he should have had caught a glimpse of these fingerprints at some point, right? He even had a theory that maybe actually Felix wasn’t his soulmate- that in reality it was Virgil himself. He knew that it was wishful thinking but he couldn’t help himself especially on evenings like today when Roman tried so hard to open himself on the world. Eventually, to Virgil’s utter surprise, Roman got up, shaking a little bit.

“Don’t get freaked out.” he whispered before gently pulling up his shirt, revealing pale hip bones.

Virgil gasped loudly, putting a hand over his mouth. 

The green, faint marks on Roman’s hips seemed to radiate under the moonlight, decorating the skin with ten, dark tattoos shaped into fingerprints. Roman turned around, making sure that Virgil had seen them from each side before pulling the shirt down.

“I… I don’t know what to say.” stuttered Virgil as Roman sat back next to him.

“You don't have to say anything. It’s not that every day you meet a person, whose first contact with their soulmate was a sexual assault.” he said, trying to hide the trembling in his voice. 

“I’m sorry.” Virgil whispered finally and before Roman knew what was going on he was pulled into a tight hug. The heart in his chest was hammering and he was pretty sure that Virgil could feel that but he couldn't care less. A little bit unsure if he wouldn’t be pushed away, Roman hesitantly wrapped his arms around Virgil’s waist. It was different than any other hug Roman had shared with Felix, if any of those even could be called a hug. Virgil was warm under his touch, uneven breath tickling Roman’s neck, hands holding him protectively. It felt… it felt nice. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, it’s not your fault.” murmured Roman after a while, hum vibrating through Virgil’s body.

“You’re my… I mean…” Virgil sighed “I’m your friend, I wish I could be there for you.” He said, pang of pain stinging his heart.

Roman’s heart skipped a beat once again.  _ Yes, friend. _ They were friends, that’s for sure. And he knew that he was a foolish dreamer to hope for more but...  _ friends should be honest with themselves, shouldn’t they? _ Roman could feel how exposed his wrists were behind Virgil’s back. If he could only see them, if only it was so easy, if only Felix was never there… Roman pressed himself even more to Virgil, one more time before reluctantly moving away. The sleeves of his shirt covered his wrists again. He was breathless, thinking about what he was about to do. He was afraid for the first time in a months. Afraid of rejection and overwhelmed with truth growing in and on him for months now.

“When I first saw them… Felix’s soulmarks...” Roman started again “I thought that they were bruises. Even though the lines were clear, I still wanted to believe that these were actual bruises. And I waited for them to fade away for days, weeks and months. They never did.” he uncovered his right hip bone a little bit, three fingerprints peeking beneath the shirt. The adrenaline was rushing through his veins. Roman knew that they were fainter now, he knew exactly when and why they started fading but he didn’t know if Virgil was going to believe him. Roman was more than sure that his confession may sound like a whining of hurt, broken soul but he had to give it a chance. The fingerprints around his wrist were pulsating, pouring more and more hope into his heart. Roman gulped “Until few months ago.” he looked straight into Virgil’s eyes “They started fading few months ago.”

“Few months ago…” repeated Virgil after him, his eyes empty “Do you know why? Why did they start fading?” Virgil asked and Roman didn’t know if the shaking of his voice was just an illusion or happened in reality.

“I suspect…” Roman whispered.

“You do?” Virgil’s voice was equally quiet, almost muffled.

Roman nodded, not trusting his own vocal cords and slowly rolled up the sleeve of his shirt revealing five clear, purple tattooed fingerprints. The air and fear of disappointment felt cold on his skin. Virgil carefully, as if Roman was made out of glass, took the hand and moved it closer to his eyes. Roman’s breath hitched. 

_ I was wrong.  _ Echoed in Roman’s head like a mantra.  _ I’m the only one. _

Finally, Virgil shifted his fingers, trying to touch the wrist in the same way he held it when his fingerprints printed into Roman’s skin. They matched perfectly and pleasant, warm shiver ran down Roman’s spine. 

“They match.” Virgil declared, staring at the tattoos, as though he didn’t want to lose them out of his sight. “These are my fingerprints.” he said slowly “On your skin.” he added, blinking rapidly.

His touch was gentle and caring and Roman wanted nothing more than to move closer, especially now that he felt as if he was losing ground under his feet. But as much as he craved that, he much more cared about what Virgil thought about it. Roman knew that he shouldn’t had given himself hope, and yet the reaction hurt him.  _ It was only him. So be it.  _ Roman was determined not to show the tears and disappointment. Not here and not now. He was an idiot to believe in the second chance to begin with. Seeing how desperate and ungrateful he was, fate must had decided to make him even more miserable. Roman closed his eyes tightly. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. As long as he could stay by Virgil’s side, everything was going to be alright.

“Look, don’t mind it. It shouldn’t happen at the first place” Roman said finally, opening his eyes and taking his hand back, to cuddle it to his chest “I get that you… don’t have it…” his voice was starting to break. He lightly poked his wrist. “It’s not even your choice, I-” Once again he was cut in the middle of sentence. Virgil’s finger on his lips, pressing lightly, dark eyes glaring into Roman’s golden ones. He couldn’t make himself look away. The thread between them was already tied.

With the other hand Virgil brushed the hair behind his ear and rubbed the place beneath it showing first little mark. And then another and another. All of them were delicate, merely tattoos, but there was no doubt in what they were.

“Oh.” escaped Roman’s parted lips. “M-may I?” he asked and, receiving a nod, carefully touched the fingerprints. Virgil shivered under his touch, causing Roman to move his hand away quickly. The marks were in the shade of dark burgundy, similar to those Felix had on his collarbones.

“The marks that Chelsea left started fading few months ago. That’s why I started wearing only long-sleeved shirts.” explained Virgil, staring at his hands. The blush that flushed his face was visible even under that moonlight, perfectly matching the tattoo behind his ear. “I was afraid that it would freak you out. As soon as they appeared…” He touched the place behind his ear. “I knew who made them, even if it wasn’t our first touch.”

“Yeah, I guess that not many people play with your hair like that.” chuckled Roman.

“They’re usually intimidated with my hissing.” laughed Virgil in reply, glancing at Roman. “So… I guess we are soulmates. Somehow.”

There were no words that could describe how soft these words felt finally being spoken out loud. A single shooting star crossed the night sky but neither of them noticed.

“Somehow.” echoed Roman. The news, still fresh, was sinking into his mind. He had another soulmate. The man he dreamt of. The soul that wasn’t meant for him at first but yet here they were. Roman looked at Virgil sitting in front of him. Stress and uncertainty were well-visible on his face and in his eyes.

“Oh! I-I mean… We can totally stay platonic! Or we can absolutely ignore that! I don’t really mind it the way it is! It was... general note…” Virgil reassured frantically, waving his hand off. There was a beat of silence before Roman wrapped his arms around his neck, bringing Virgil closer, almost sitting on his lap, breathing in his smell, enjoying his warmth against the chest.

“We can…” he started carefully, trying not too sound to excited. His breath tickled Virgil’s ear. The one that was partly hiding Roman’s fingerprints. “Or we can give it a try and…” 

“I don’t want to hurt you. You don’t deserve _ another  _ shitty soulmate.” mumbled Virgil, against his neck.

Roman moved away and firmly grabbed Virgil’s chin with his hand.

“You’re nothing like Felix. I know you won’t hurt me. You are… a gift from heavens, an answer to all my prayers, a person that I dreamed of and-”

Before he had a chance to finish, Virgil’s lips covered his own and he couldn’t do nothing more than pour the rest of his speech into the kiss. It was warm, gentle and made Roman’s stomach spin in the way, it never did. Neither with Felix, nor with anyone else. His fingers tangled into Virgil’s dark, silky hair, bringing the male closer. 

And suddenly Roman felt the touch on his hips. Cold hands slipping under his shirt, caressing his bare hip bones, the part of body that he hated the most about himself. The touch was careful, delicate like butterflies wings. Loving. It didn’t feel wrong for the first time in his life. Roman smiled into the kiss.

_ So what if they weren’t soulmates chosen by fate? _

_ They were soulmates chosen by love. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shakespeare referance was neat af, I'm proud of that bit!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Sorry if there are any typos, I tried to reduce them as much as I could.   
> If you liked it leave a comment, I'm really looking forward to see what you think of the ending!


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